I learned about the Enneagram when I was studying in seminary. Although I had heard of many different personality inventories and tests when studying psychology in college, I had never truly understood its power until graduate school. After taking a great deal of time...
It was a warm summer afternoon, and the sun was streaming through my bedroom window. I woke up from a nap and had this resounding sense of peace. I thought, My life is perfect! My performance has paid off! I have a husband in full-time ministry, a nursing job I love,...
Sweaty and thirsty from my newspaper route, I propped my bike against the front of the building and went inside. The neighborhood grocery was air-conditioned, making it one of the only cool places in town. I selected a grape soda from the pop machine and a Baby Ruth...
I grew up in a family of prestige because my father was a significant figure in our city. We lived on over one hundred acres, raised cattle, and had a pool and a tennis court. My father grew up on a farm outside of town, made it through graduate school, was asked to...
It was a hellish decade. That’s the only way to describe living in a godless marriage, being in deep denial of my own multitude of issues, and watching my husband’s life unravel at the seams from addiction. Oh, and being in denial about that too. I didn’t know...
I was born in the Midwest on my own father’s birthday. He was a physician completing his residency training. My mom was a nurse and the daughter of missionaries. My parents were married during their medical training. Both had dreams of becoming medical missionaries,...
At face value, extreme fear (i.e. Terror) is this overwhelming, draining, malignant dragon. It’s the beast behind not having enough toilet paper, going out in public (or being asked to stay at home when we don’t want to), big social changes, etc, etc. Its terms...
I was bullied growing up. There was something about having red hair and glasses that seemed to make me a target. I didn’t look like the other boys who got the girls’ attention. Oh how I desperately wanted that attention. “What’s wrong with me?” I would ask...
I didn’t want to plant my wildflowers this year. For years I’ve bought a sack of 30,000 wildflower seeds in early February and then guerilla garden them like Johnny Appleseed on any patch of ground needing beauty. This year I bought my seeds around the New Year. I...
Over the years we develop ways to cope with, manage or mitigate stress. A lot of those are even really great things. We may walk, meditate, practice yoga, exercise, talk with a friend, go to recovery meetings, go to therapy, the list goes on. Sadly, not even the best...
Amid all the devastation and panic leveled on our city recently, there is much to grieve. Much has been lost. Many dreams and hopes have vanished. In the natural disaster that shocked our city, some unnatural things happened. People not only lost their homes and...
When a crisis hits, it is inherently disorienting. That’s what makes it a crisis. The disorientation of the chaos is what makes us start asking “What do I do?”, “Where do I go?”, and we feel like we have lost all control. The truth is, we never had much control in the...
It’s easy to focus on the destruction of a rock bottom when you are lying in the crater of it. It’s easy to miss the tiny key of freedom that’s given in exchange for having our world turned upside down. In recovery rooms across the globe the phrase...
What does it mean to live life on life’s terms? It is to say, “OK, Life, I see you. I don’t really like what you are saying or doing, but I am choosing not to ignore you. I am going to take you at face value and just do the next right thing.” It means to take each day...
To the doctors, nurses, and healthcare workers, We will never be able to thank you for the sacrifices you are making for our safety and wellbeing. We cannot understand what it is like for you to risk your own lives for ours. We don’t have a way to repay you for your...
My friend Kenny first introduced me to the concept of “liminal space”. It is taken from the Latin word limen, which means “threshold”. Liminal space is the place of waiting, the place of not knowing, the in-between space where we are not where we used to be, but we...
My 8-year-old son is very disappointed that his Annual Easter Egg Hunt had to be canceled this year. And rightfully so. He’s grieving the loss of one of his favorite traditions. For the past few years, he has delighted in sending out invitations, filling the plastic...
If you stroll down the streets of your neighborhood right now, it’s likely you’ll see a lot of parked cars lining the curbs and driveways. Walk a little further and you’ll pass cafes, restaurants and shops with their lights off and doors locked....
In light of so much going on in the world that (rightfully) brings up fear, I believe it is important and helpful to remember how we were made. First, we were made to feel. Your fear is normal. It actually brings about clarity around things that can seem murky or...
“My heart beats so hard, I feel like I have an earthquake inside of me. It’s weighing me down and my hands shake with the need of safety and comfort.” -Karen Quan There are points in everyone’s story where life happens and we must respond. The...
We all need a safe place, where we can tell the truth about our daily struggles and be cared about without fear of rejection. So often anxiety is increased by not having a place to struggle and experience security at the same time. The “good enough” parent can create...
Watching TV tonight I couldn’t help but notice that every commercial contained some reminder of how life used to be. Remember when we used to give each other high fives? Remember when there used to be sports on TV every night? Remember when we used to eat out and go...
Dear nurses, doctors, healthcare professionals, and first responders, You are no stranger to sickness, suffering, and death. You willingly enter its chaos every workday, and are the first to volunteer your skills and bedside manner on your day off. For that, we thank...
In a world that rewards us for moving at a dizzying pace, it is often hard to remember that we are limited creatures. We have physical bodies, we live in particular places in space and time, and we have needs. Meanwhile, technology tells us that we can transcend time...
I picked up the phone and called someone when I found myself looking at something called a “bathtub bladder”. A bathtub bladder is a big rubber ball that you install in your bathtub to store drinking water. I connected with a good friend of mine and I told him the...
