Passion is Resistible

Fear seems to have many causes. Fear of loss, fear of failure, fear of being hurt, and so on, but ultimately all fear is the ego's fear of death, of annihilation. To the ego, death is always just around the corner. -- Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

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Following your passion is like following a great river.

Sometimes it’s wide, inviting, and calm.

Other times it’s narrow, wild, and thrilling.

And occasionally there are inevitable moments where we find ourselves approaching the precipice of a great falls. In these moments, we understandably become afraid, unsure, and doubtful.

We have a sense of a two choice dilemma:

• We can turn away from our passion and back towards the security of the known, or ...
• We can leap into the abyss and plunge toward the roar of the violent foam below.

We intuitively know that if we take this leap there is no turning back.

If we survive, we will be forever changed.

It is the way of things that anything precious comes at some cost, and the cost of this leap is the loss of the sense of self that we’ve been crafting our entire life.

Following our passion threatens our personal identity. It invites us to sacrifice our Ego in hope of something more. But, these Ego deaths are not casual experiences. They are some of the most profound, disorienting, and sometimes frightening experiences we can have in our lives. They reorient much of how we understand ourselves and can change the course of our lives and relationships.

Because Ego deaths are so impactful, many people (if not most) avoid living passionately. Instead of struggling, surrendering and changing, sadly, many people employ a combination of strategies to resist Calling.

Strategy 1: Follow Scripts

One way we avoid our passion is by following the scripts handed to us by parents, culture, leaders/gurus, or institutions. The scripts blind us from our passion by promising “safety and the confirmation of your outer identity.” They offer their own take on a successful life through gaining knowledge, maintaining piety, achieving accomplishment, and/or gaining material success.

Scripts produce enough security and reward that we work harder and harder at them to succeed, but really it’s like trying to scale a mountain of ice. Very few of us ever make it to the top, and those who do are quickly dethroned or exposed as frauds. This “success” is a solitary and momentary triumph for us.

Strategy 2: Refusal, avoidance, apathy and/or resignation

When the going gets tough, most often we quit. When we see how much pursuing our passion will cost us (financially, emotionally, spiritually, socially, and personally), many of us stop. This is important because, in truth, Passion is only fully revealed, clarified, and purified through struggle, sacrifice, time, and loss.

Strategy 3: Lack of Patience in the Process

Passion is most always the long way around on the backroads and byways of life. Because of the struggle and patience entailed in Calling, we are tempted to look for shortcuts or con the process. This does not work. Such attempts at cutting corners only lead us further from the essence of our passion.

Strategy 4. Self-Deception

‍Believing we can master the uncontrollable aspects of life, or overestimating our power, are ways we deceive ourselves. This self-deception is a potent barrier to pursuing our passion, as it keeps us from facing the realities of our journey.

Strategy 5. Apathy

‍Apathy, or a practiced indifference, shields us from the commitments and convictions needed to navigate the challenges, sacrifices, and discomforts of a meaningful pursuit.

Going Deeper

• Where are you resisting living with passion right now?
• What strategies do you employ to feel safe and in control and maintain the status quo?

How Sage Hill Counseling Can Help

Sage Hill is a social impact organization that provides life-changing counseling, coaching, and programs for individuals, couples, and families that disrupt the status quo and release the human heart. We provide relationship-focused, evidence-based, counseling services to help you live fully.

Get connected with us by starting the process here.

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