The Benefits of Being Able to Hurt

Life is hard and life hurts. Hurt is the emotional and spiritual cry within us that lets us know that we have pain. It is the common thread that runs through all emotional and spiritual experiences—even gladness.

Hurt is the pain in our . . .

loneliness that propels us to reach for deeper relationship.

sadness that allows us to honor the losses with tears.

fear that helps us see the condition of our world and ask for help.

anger that compels us to pursue our missions with passion.

guilt that lets us seek reconciliation.

shame that helps us know the humility of our proper place.

gladness that allows us to find joy in the midst of life’s pain.

No matter how thick or how high we build the walls around our hearts, we are still susceptible to emotional and spiritual pain, certainly, if nothing else, wishing the pain would end.

The experience of hurt, both by itself and as the thread that runs through all the other seven feelings, offers us a tremendous opportunity—the opportunity to admit, accept, and surrender to the truth of our neediness. Hurt exposes our desire and need to find healing for our pain. Denial of pain increases the damage, eventually. Admission of pain, eventually, can bring us to healing.

The acknowledgement of pain awakens us to our true state as dependent, striving, trusting, curious, spontaneous, truthful creatures who prize life. Ironically, the admission of hurt acts as a catalyst to relief and healing of pain. The admission is willingness to receive help. Acceptance is facing what is required to heal. Surrender is giving our hearts to the active process of healing so that we can return to life. We can return to life not only healed. We can return to life wiser and more courageous for having given ourselves to the process that heals us.

For further reading on The Eight Feelings, check out The Voice of The Heart.