When Did You Stop Creating? - Sage Hill Counseling

“It seems we have this inborn need to love and to create. At their deepest, these drives of spirit appear to be the same. For through her love, wasn’t Grandma creating me? Don’t we help birth another the instant we encourage them to see with their heart? Don’t we help birth the world each time we give someone confidence to build what they see in their heart?

Somehow we are meant to wrestle the earth-wood, clay, marble-into forms; to seize the air-notes, words, color-into signs; meant to hold other breathing questions like ourselves and shudder as we part. It makes me ask with joy, what shall we fall in love with tonight? To what color shall we devote our being? What instrument shall we be next?”

-Mark Nepo

What we create here on earth ends up being our unique groan that connects us to heaven. There is a presence who attends to us and takes over when we put pen to paper, or place our feet on the dance floor. I happen to believe that this presence is the spirit of our Creator longing to co-create with us, to take us out of our head and into the divine mystery of Love.

It seems that young children know this presence well and are in this space for most of the day. Which reminds me why creating is so important. It evokes the questions inside of us: “When did I stop creating? What or who caused me to stop? How do I now label my creations or those who create around me? Where did the judgement come from? What do I lose when I create? What do I gain?”

The answers to these questions lead us back to the fertility of our heart space that can’t help but grow with both the deLIGHT for what we have & who we are, and the grief for what we lose, what we have lost & who we are not.

Recently I have had a fascination with people’s backyards. I think COVID has led me into many people’s yards that I never would have seen otherwise. There is something sacred about a back yard. It is the space that you can’t see from the street, or even the living room sometimes. What people decide to put back there is such an expression of who they are. It is their unique creation.

My backyard currently feels very unfinished to me. “Not good enough” is a phrase that comes up and an impatience of, “Will we ever do what we say we are going to do back here?” With that being said, there is also pride in a trough that I filled with wildflower seeds early in the summer that are growing only on one side because I watered it too much. I giggle at my clumsiness every time I pass it. And then there is my bright orange hibiscus tree that I planted in the lime green pot that fills me with delight when I see it smiling at me through my kitchen window. And our string lights that my husband put up with one of our good friends that twinkle at night and make me want to dance.

What is in your backyard? Have you allowed yourself to create? What is stopping you? What are you proud of? What feels unfinished? Are you willing to step into these questions to become one of the defiant ones who puts words to your unique groan? In doing so, together, I believe that we can birth the world!

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