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The Simplicity of Intimacy

Three short sentences have the capacity to break down relational barriers and push aside relational obstacles. They can help us remember connection, restore us to caring, and return us to intimacy. Intimacy is the ability and willingness to let someone “into-me-see,”...

Core Expressions of Healthy Shame

Healthy shame is the beginning of humility and risk-taking. When we awaken to how alike we are in heart and how we all carry the same inborn neediness, the healthy shame of being human awakens the following: I need you and you need me. I make mistakes and you do, too....

The Benefit of Guilt

Guilt grows out of healthy shame, and healthy shame allows me to acknowledge neediness, experience humility, identify limitations, admit mistakes, weep in sadness, wish for better, and grow in empathy and conscience as a human being. Here is how healthy shame and...

Six Freedoms from Birth

We are born with six freedoms: I have the freedom to see what I see. I have the freedom to feel what I feel. I have the freedom to need what I need. I have the freedom to talk about my heart’s experience. I have the freedom to trust my heart with others. I have the...

The Extra Mile

I believe very much that we need to push ourselves. We need to be able to take the next step, work hard, find out that we can persevere in hardship, and find within us the ability to get the job done if at all possible. We need to be able to press on because doing so...

The Genius in Not Being Normal

“There is no great genius without some touch of madness.” – Seneca  The more normal you try to be (or the more like others you try to parrot) the less of you we will see. You move away from your personal genius when you strive to be normal, to not have to risk...

Do You Deny Yourself Joy?

My grandmother’s jewelry hangs in an organizer in my closet. I recently pulled it out from behind coats to find dust inside the pouches that neatly hold the precious metals, stones, and colors. I touched a couple of the pieces she wore often, and that most reminded me...

Finding An Anthem For Affliction

The first time I heard John Mark McMillan’s (now widely-known) song “How He Loves Us,” I was at the funeral of a high school friend who passed away in a car accident. I distinctly remember how the words confounded my mind but resonated somewhere within my heart...

Success in Failure

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Listening to Your Lonely

When asked what makes loneliness hard to admit, people of all ages often say that they believe loneliness means they are messed up, defective, a loser, friendless, or unlovable. This condemning voice that calls us names is what Dr. Chip Dodd calls the voice of toxic...

The “Should’s” and “Supposed To’s”

Recently, a large poll was taken in which A.A. Milne’s Winnie the Pooh ranked number one for the most beloved children’s books of all time, even beating J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series. Milne created a brilliant and endearing narrative that all its readers and...