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Created to Need

Created to Need

What is a need? To put it as starkly as possible, needs are deficits that require biological, emotional and spiritual gratification for fulfillment. Deficit fulfillment keeps us fully alive. Needs have to be gratified to be alive. The specific needs we have are the...

The Common Sense of Needs

I wrote a book called The Needs of the Heart. It is a simple book that speaks to how we are created to need, and describes specific needs. It is well written, well edited, and not popular! I suspect it is not popular because it exposes our condition as unavoidably and...

Thriving and Prosperity

You and I are created as emotional and spiritual creatures, created to live fully. We find life to the full through emotional and spiritual relationship with ourselves, others, and God. We cannot find full life otherwise. We are predesigned to find fulfillment in...

Craving Well

To feel a powerful desire for (something) is to crave. Synonyms are long for, yearn for, desire, want, wish for, hunger for, thirst for, pine for, set one’s heart on. To live in craving requires the courage of vulnerability and the strength of patience. To live in...

Heart

The heart is the center of one’s being. Out of the heart we feel, need, desire, long, and hope. The heart is comprised of these core areas or roots. They allow us and push us to grow and connect, crave life and imagine, grieve and celebrate, attach and love. The heart...
Cicadas

Cicadas

Cicadas are the bugs that come out of the ground, some every year, and others on 13 or 17 years cycles. They crawl to surfaces of tree bark or brick walls, cling to them and go through a transformation. They split open from forehead, down their backs to the “tail...

Taking Love for Granted

What a gift to be able to take love for granted. Much of my life, I thought that for me to take anything for granted was somehow an expression of ingratitude or callousness towards something or someone. Or ingratitude or callousness towards me, if someone took my love...

Lightning Bugs

I noticed the other evening just before dark the lightning bugs flickering here and there. To me, like the robin heralds spring, lightning bugs announce summer. When I was a child, some summer nights my brothers and sister and neighbor kids spent hours catching...

Trees

When my sons were little, we planted a slim stick of a poplar tree beside our driveway. We must have planted it during the exact sign of the moon in Farmer’s Almanac, or something like that. The poplar grew very fast, from no more than a stick 18 inches tall to four...

Freedom

You and I at root are emotional and spiritual creatures, created to live fully. We do so by living fully in relationship with our selves, others, and God. This realty is our pre-design. The research of the past two decades in neuroscience re-confirms this reality,...

Sadness and Honor

Sadness honors the loss that comes with change. In a world where change and loss are inevitable, the willingness to have sadness allows us to remain fully alive. Put another way, sadness is part of feeling and healing loss that allows us to risk caring and attaching...

Where Are You?

Ayeka is an ancient Hebrew word that is still used in daily life today. It means “where are you?” It is used today when a person, parent, friend, compatriot wants to know about your inner-world, the heart experience of you. It is a question spoken towards...

The Simplicity of Intimacy

Three short sentences have the capacity to break down relational barriers and push aside relational obstacles. They can help us remember connection, restore us to caring, and return us to intimacy. Intimacy is the ability and willingness to let someone “into-me-see,”...

Humility and Greatness

The disciples asked Jesus who was the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. To answer the disciples, Jesus called a little child to stand among them. He then said, “Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore,...

Ambition and Transience

Last week, Sonya and I got to go to Ponte Vedra beach for a week. The beach was deserted, with the time of year and the offseason. I was running sprints (at least, I call them sprints) by the ocean waves below our cottage one morning, feeling myself getting faster and...

A Great Sadness

The heart of the human being often becomes a rejected treasure that children begin to hide when they do not experience themselves as pursued and affirmed. This common experience is a great sadness. When the heart is experienced as the enemy of the child, then God,...