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What is Maturity?

What is Maturity?

As an external description, maturity is the evidence of reaching full natural growth or development. As an internal description, maturity is the emotional and relational capability of living fully and loving deeply while experiencing life on life’s terms. By being...
Works in Progress

Works in Progress

The best we will ever become is Works in Progress (WIPs). No matter what we do, we will always be like giraffes running on ice — clumsy. Our dreams really will always exceed our grasp, no matter how perfect our plans. I believe that God likes that we dream. We carry...
Belonging

Belonging

A famous rock star said that she never felt more alone than after a performance in front of thousands of admirers. After the performance ended, she had no one to turn to who met her need to belong. Heroin became her closest companion and the counterfeit experience of...
Humiliation Doesn’t Have to Be

Humiliation Doesn’t Have to Be

Is the experience of humiliation normal? Although the experience of humiliation is extremely common, it is not normal. We were born with the emotional tools not to be reduced by the power of its attack. However, if we are not raised to use the tools, or do not learn...

The Common Sense of Needs

I wrote a book called The Needs of the Heart. It is a simple book that speaks to how we are created to need, and describes specific needs. It is well written, well edited, and not popular! I suspect it is not popular because it exposes our condition as unavoidably and...

Thriving and Prosperity

You and I are created as emotional and spiritual creatures, created to live fully. We find life to the full through emotional and spiritual relationship with ourselves, others, and God. We cannot find full life otherwise. We are predesigned to find fulfillment in...

Craving Well

To feel a powerful desire for (something) is to crave. Synonyms are long for, yearn for, desire, want, wish for, hunger for, thirst for, pine for, set one’s heart on. To live in craving requires the courage of vulnerability and the strength of patience. To live in...

Hope’s Daring in 2019

The ever-present temptation towards apathy or resignation is the reason hope is so daring and risky. Hope awakens us to wonder, dreams, possibilities, courage and belief. These forms of imagining will always be slightly or greatly painful once we actually face that we...

O Holy Night

My father died December 18, 2010. The song O Holy Night was sung at his funeral. It was beautiful and fitting. It celebrates a light in the darkness, a rescue for a people in need, and the conquering of death in a world where we still must physically die. It tells us...

I Believe it Like Air

I want to share something about Christmas. Before I do, however, I want to state that I have seen enough, experienced enough, learned enough, and have lived long enough to disbelieve what I say below if I were ever going to do so. But I cannot not believe it. It is in...

Heart

The heart is the center of one’s being. Out of the heart we feel, need, desire, long, and hope. The heart is comprised of these core areas or roots. They allow us and push us to grow and connect, crave life and imagine, grieve and celebrate, attach and love. The heart...

10 Things the Wilderness Taught Me in 4 Days

Recently, I organized an adventure trip for male leaders through Wilderness Collective . In four days, we covered more than 275 miles from Sequoia National Forest to Yosemite National Park. We traversed rugged terrain on enduro motorcycles that lead us over mountain...

The Courage of Sadness

Sadness is the attachment-caring feeling. It comes when what matters to us turns out differently than what we imagined, hoped, or worked for. And it comes most powerfully to those people who imagine, hope, and work for the most. Sadness is the feeling that presents us...

A Parent List

Our lives as parents must not be about perfection, but about the courage of affection. We live our affection clearly and courageously through confession of the following, and we must do so imperfectly because that is the nature of life. Remember that affection is no...

Life Doesn’t Stop

The river of life never stops and the cycles of living move in never-ending circles. The sparrows keep chirping in the nearby trees while a casket is being lowered into the ground. Life itself stops for no one, but we can. A famous, ancient story tells us about...

Four Parental Responsibilities

What follows are four gifts that we can give our children (of any age), and those gifts will be delivered imperfectly: We can take responsibility for our own feelings. We don’t have to make our children responsible for our emotional conditions. Your feelings are your...

Laying Claim, Not Blame

When you or I say to someone, “I feel sad” about some loss, or “I feel lonely” about some disconnection, we are simply laying claim to our own internal emotional experience. The “I feel” statement, followed by our reference point to...

A Friend’s Prayer

A good friend recently took the time to send me a prayer that he has been praying for himself and his friends for some time. I’m very grateful to be someone he prays for. He told me to pass it along, so other friends and loved ones could be reminded to pray for...

Big Results from Simple Actions

The following is a list of ten qualities that make leaders worth joining and make participants valuable to leaders. These ten simple actions are what leaders and participants do who create vibrant, sustainable, productive environments in which excellence is the norm....
Failing Well

Failing Well

No one naturally seeks to become mediocre, the diminishment of excellence. Anyone who thinks that they seek mediocrity, i.e., the uninspired, indifferent, average, lackluster, or forgettable, is confused as to who they are and how they are made. They are actually...

Four Realities

There are four realities in living life that we cannot overcome. They are fixed factors of living on earth. We may waste our lives attempting to defeat them, instead of living well within the context of them. Experiencing living within their parameters can actually...