We all need a safe place, where we can tell the truth about our daily struggles and be cared about without fear of rejection. So often anxiety is increased by not having a place to struggle and experience security at the same time. The “good enough” parent can create that safe place. “Good enough” is really just a way to say that a person is not perfect, and yet they are still consistently available and trustworthy.
We all need a safe place, where we can tell the truth about our daily struggles and be cared about without fear of rejection.
Anxiety is the anticipation of helplessness, or being in a situation in which we suffer humiliation, rejection, or aloneness. Anxiety can be reduced, by knowing we have a safe place to start from or return to:
- A place to get prepared to face what we fear.
- A place to go after we face what we fear.
All “good enough” parents offer five things that create an “anti-anxiety” environment (i.e., a place where a person is safe from being rendered helpless).
- They laugh. The laughter is never at someone, but with someone.
- They cry. The tears are responses to loss and caring.
- They pray. The prayers express the dependence and faith of a child.
- They say, “I’m sorry.” The forgiveness shows humility and empathy.
- They maintain values. The values express integrity, and they point towards a path to follow that is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy. (Philippians 4:8)
These five behaviors create a place that reduces anxiety. People who offer these things are the safe place.